1. |
STUCK
04:45
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I can't find a way to let you know just what I'm thinking now
It's a fucking memory maze of walls I can't break down
All these lies that float around my head are never coming out
Cause I can't find a way to tell you what the hell I'm thinking now
Be still don't run after what I've said is done
Just hear my soul bare witness to this sorrow
Water fills your eyes but stiffness holds your lips in place
I fall right out of love before your hips start to shake
Our eyes meet one last time before I take our life
and bury it deep below the ashes of what used to be
You beg me for a sign but I can't say I want these lungs to breathe
the same air you've given me
Cause I can't find a way to let you know just what I'm thinking now
It's a fucking memory maze of walls I can't break down
All these lies that float around my head are never coming out
Cause I can't find a way to tell you what the hell I'm thinking now
You took my heart and drew a line in the sand
Said this or that and left me holding my hand
I couldn't help you see what your words did to me
I guess the blame falls on myself for never speaking my mind
There's no hope for us now I'm seeing everything you always let the light shine around
But you don't get a chance to say it's not what it seems
I just want you to go now get the fuck away
You don't see what I see poison sold as candy
Take a look in my eyes and tell me I'm not really alive
Cut out my tongue to feel the blood
I'm slowly dying from every reason I never said
Spill out my guts to taste the lies
I've told a hundred times over I never need closure
Show you my heart I'm bearing out
Melting off every conviction I never received from you
But in my eyes I feel the hate
I resent every word I've said sleeping until I can just wake up
Just wake up
Just wake up
Just wake up
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2. |
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Could it be me or a dark and twisted fantasy running free
Giving too much time and patience to this disease
We call love no it's not from above there's no white feathered dove can't you see
There's no love left for you or for me
I'm lost inside my head I feel the sudden dread
Coursing through my blood like the endless flood
Killing off the sense that kept me on the fence
To push me off the edge
And now I run away from my pain
All the fear inside me boiling up to burn my throat and mind
Time after time I can't control the envy keeping my heart locked away
I wish you would stay away from the mess of a life that I call my existence
Looking in the mirror I can't see a thing I'm running off drugs and shattered dreams
Not what I seem everything I know about you begs me to scream
And the way we disconnect is proof we don't need to be here
Making fools of our lives being told by fear what to do how to live
It's not the way I pictured myself learning to give
I'm lost inside my head I feel the sudden dread
Coursing through my blood like the endless flood
Killing off the sense that kept me on the fence
To push me off the edge
And now I fight my way from my shame
Everything inside me conjuring a state of doubt without a way to get out
The prison that I've built myself it keeps my thoughts so safe without the hate
I think that I see in the whole of existence
Looking in the mirror I see my soul scream from my eyes
See the light inside before my darkness breaks your sun
Breathe the clean air today so I can use your lungs
I wanna feel your spirit break out of the chains constructed from
The fear of losing love
The fear of losing
I ripped the wings off of a butterfly by the seams
Or it seems it was a moth covered in dirt
She chewed the threads of my T-shirt
Like there weren't already enough holes in my consciousness
But I'm the kind of guy who can build a bridge
Burn it down laugh manically and walk away with dust on my heels
It was nothing a hot shower couldn't clean off
But you were a gift and I smashed it up
Because I'm a daredevil who can't sit comfortably
(Matthew Leary)
Can't take back all my sins
Don't think I would even if I could
Got off my knee no repent can't rethink my diseases
This a repeat been going crazy, people think I'm lazy but
I don't wanna worry 'bout it she wanna hear a good story
I told her take a knee maybe take two now
Baby stick your tongue out woo
Everybody know we been wild since the 8th grade
Grinding all our lives I'm glad she's gone
I hope she hears me on the Radio
I think I miss the freak more than her love
See the light inside before my darkness breaks your sun
Breathe the clean air today so I can use your lungs
I wanna feel your spirit break out of the chains constructed from
The fear of losing love
The fear of losing
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3. |
MORPH
01:24
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Don't you fake it with me. Take what I am as I am.
Burn down your walls I've helped you build so high.
Tell me everything I need to know, not just want you want me to hear.
I helped mold a person who doesn't trust because I didn't trust myself.
And now that you're here you can't look me in the eye.
You won't speak, in response or question.
You speak only to defend from my non-existent attacks.
Assume the worst and it will be the worst.
I finally finished packing my bags to find you stepping off the return ship, and although you called me to come aboard the whole journey, it was over before I was ready to start.
It was over before I was ready to start.
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4. |
FADE
03:38
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Stone cold eyes pierce my chest
I won't move until the rest
The feelings shared the love we sought
Washed away with the storm you brought
And now I fear far too much
Too let you know where you touch
Inside my soul I cannot find
A reason to not leave this behind
And now I'm taking more them what's been told is mine
I don't even care just stay and pass the time
I want to say I can't let go but nothing makes me feel ok
You tell me it's not yes and no, but in-between there's just no space
And now I feel the weight of living on my own
Even though you're here I feel so alone
Stuck in the shell I call my skin this spirit yearns for another place
I fight and spread myself too thin, I'm starting to give into my self-hate
And now I can't breathe the way I used to fill my lungs
I feel complete when you're not here to squeeze my neck
I just go over the times I wish I could rewind
To the moments I said what I didn't mean and just not go so fast
You make me feel so numb I can't forget our past
Speak and say whatever you think will help me stay
I know it's hard to see things my way but I guarantee that someday
You and I will be free to roam the stars
As minds without fear of open scars
And only see who we truly are
I love with the fullness of our hearts
Until they never beat
They never beat
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5. |
SPEAK
05:28
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This cold winter knows the deepest part of me
It's grip has always shown through bare and empty sheets
Your sun it trickled in, and when it comes to show
The feelings of remorse stay locked in my soul
And when the light escapes your bones and your eyes just won't let go
I can feel my frozen heart begin to burn
That's when I empty from my chest this feeling of duress
That has kept me from your warm for far too long
There's nothing more of the words we never said
You took my hand but you left me for dead
We saw it coming but we didn't have to try
I can't hide the truth when I'm out of lies
Separate the days we were stuck in haze
From the life I wanted just to be enough but
There's something more when you look into me
I feel my heart telling me just to speak
Take all of the pain deep inside my chest
Make it disappear make a place to rest
All the fears you know will soon come and pass
I will block the dark stained in our glass
And when the light escapes your bones and your eyes just won't let go
I can feel my frozen heart begin to burn
That's when I empty from my chest this feeling of duress
That has kept me from your warm for far too long
There's nothing more of the words we never said
You took my hand but you left me for dead
We saw it coming but we didn't have to try
I can't hide the truth when I'm out of lies
Separate the days we were stuck in haze
From the life I wanted just to be enough but
There's something more when you look into me
I feel my heart telling me just to speak
Just let me speak
Cut out my tongue and let me go
There's nothing here that can save our souls
We crucified our love to the sky
Left me shaking
Body is waking
Lift my head and tell me it's fine
I am broken just give me time
To disconnect these feelings from thoughts
I'm pushing them out and there's no way to stop
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6. |
WOODS (feat. Michael)
06:11
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I've been growing old too fast for the peace of mind I seek
There's nothing on this earth that can satisfy my thirst
The difference between our spirits is a little small but not week
Strong enough to show me that we're stuck with this curse
That keeps us chained back afraid to be real
Fighting to just look back and show how you feel
Scratch my skin and taste the swelling blood
Feel the warm dribble down to a flood
It's the only way I'll ever be close to you
Stretch me out and make me lose my mind
Find a way to stop the passing of time
It's the only way I'll ever be close to you
You keep me there inside your heart with hope that cushions words I speak
Against the thought of you never losing my love
But my heartbeat drives me away
Helps me clear out thoughts I can't say
Scratch my skin and taste the swelling blood
Feel the warm dribble down to a flood
It's the only way I'll ever be close to you
Stretch me out and make me lose my mind
Find a way to stop the passing of time
It's the only way I'll ever be close to you
(Michael)
Things I'm afraid of.
The dark lipped kiss of some starry morning sky peeking into my chest looking for that piece of vulnerability I've been braking off to share with everyone I meet.
The sounds of rushing water penetrating sand castles made out of dried pieces of flesh I've been peeling off my body ever since I discovered the word bravery.
A warm trembling embrace that's unsure of how to hold my insecurities and a nestled head that's aware of the bent indent in my shoulder created between my neck was a sigh of relief because that is exactly what I wanted.
A quick shooting star damp with chlorine flickering aimlessly through our pre-edited stories about love and what it means to be in it.
I'm afraid of losing hope in myself just long enough for you to realize that I might be a mess your practiced hands won't be able to clean up.
A slender shadow patrolling the shores of my battlefield asking if we could learn the dance of our tiptoed ballet.
I just want to trace your goosebumps with every word I know until your skin is nothing but sheet music only I can read.
Music has been escaping my fingertips like beads of sweat.
I am malnourished and I'm afraid that loving myself isn't going to quench my thirst enough to keep sweating.
I'm sweating your name under my breath like a dusty road found hiding in the crack of some old photographs we might one day look through.
Caught in between this kingdom and some cell phone poetry I am afraid that I am far too in over my head.
But I want to scream the word love out loud until nobody can hear me drowning in my own silence.
I am afraid that this might be the best decision for me right now balancing my own body on top of myself until I cannot breath without reassurance from my pulse.
It's been drumming so loudly when I think of you here inside of my bones.
I have been breaking them on purpose just so I can get a glimpse of your magic.
The silent air between us radiating dust that has been trailing our back roads like bumpy tires learning how to manage the grip of dawn drawing our blood so it can paint the sky before the world wakes up.
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