This song is about the final process of separating from someone. Going through that process and letting it sink in, to realize you still love them and hope for them to return one day.
The poem at the ending of it all was written by my good friend Michael, and sums up the feelings I have had after everything.
lyrics
I've been growing old too fast for the peace of mind I seek
There's nothing on this earth that can satisfy my thirst
The difference between our spirits is a little small but not week
Strong enough to show me that we're stuck with this curse
That keeps us chained back afraid to be real
Fighting to just look back and show how you feel
Scratch my skin and taste the swelling blood
Feel the warm dribble down to a flood
It's the only way I'll ever be close to you
Stretch me out and make me lose my mind
Find a way to stop the passing of time
It's the only way I'll ever be close to you
You keep me there inside your heart with hope that cushions words I speak
Against the thought of you never losing my love
But my heartbeat drives me away
Helps me clear out thoughts I can't say
Scratch my skin and taste the swelling blood
Feel the warm dribble down to a flood
It's the only way I'll ever be close to you
Stretch me out and make me lose my mind
Find a way to stop the passing of time
It's the only way I'll ever be close to you
(Michael)
Things I'm afraid of.
The dark lipped kiss of some starry morning sky peeking into my chest looking for that piece of vulnerability I've been braking off to share with everyone I meet.
The sounds of rushing water penetrating sand castles made out of dried pieces of flesh I've been peeling off my body ever since I discovered the word bravery.
A warm trembling embrace that's unsure of how to hold my insecurities and a nestled head that's aware of the bent indent in my shoulder created between my neck was a sigh of relief because that is exactly what I wanted.
A quick shooting star damp with chlorine flickering aimlessly through our pre-edited stories about love and what it means to be in it.
I'm afraid of losing hope in myself just long enough for you to realize that I might be a mess your practiced hands won't be able to clean up.
A slender shadow patrolling the shores of my battlefield asking if we could learn the dance of our tiptoed ballet.
I just want to trace your goosebumps with every word I know until your skin is nothing but sheet music only I can read.
Music has been escaping my fingertips like beads of sweat.
I am malnourished and I'm afraid that loving myself isn't going to quench my thirst enough to keep sweating.
I'm sweating your name under my breath like a dusty road found hiding in the crack of some old photographs we might one day look through.
Caught in between this kingdom and some cell phone poetry I am afraid that I am far too in over my head.
But I want to scream the word love out loud until nobody can hear me drowning in my own silence.
I am afraid that this might be the best decision for me right now balancing my own body on top of myself until I cannot breath without reassurance from my pulse.
It's been drumming so loudly when I think of you here inside of my bones.
I have been breaking them on purpose just so I can get a glimpse of your magic.
The silent air between us radiating dust that has been trailing our back roads like bumpy tires learning how to manage the grip of dawn drawing our blood so it can paint the sky before the world wakes up.
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