I can't find a way to let you know just what I'm thinking now It's a fucking memory maze of walls I can't break down All these lies that float around my head are never coming out Cause I can't find a way to tell you what the hell I'm thinking now Be still don't run after what I've said is done Just hear my soul bare witness to this sorrow Water fills your eyes but stiffness holds your lips in place I fall right out of love before your hips start to shake Our eyes meet one last time before I take our life and bury it deep below the ashes of what used to be You beg me for a sign but I can't say I want these lungs to breathe the same air you've given me Cause I can't find a way to let you know just what I'm thinking now It's a fucking memory maze of walls I can't break down All these lies that float around my head are never coming out Cause I can't find a way to tell you what the hell I'm thinking now You took my heart and drew a line in the sand Said this or that and left me holding my hand I couldn't help you see what your words did to me I guess the blame falls on myself for never speaking my mind There's no hope for us now I'm seeing everything you always let the light shine around But you don't get a chance to say it's not what it seems I just want you to go now get the fuck away You don't see what I see poison sold as candy Take a look in my eyes and tell me I'm not really alive Cut out my tongue to feel the blood I'm slowly dying from every reason I never said Spill out my guts to taste the lies I've told a hundred times over I never need closure Show you my heart I'm bearing out Melting off every conviction I never received from you But in my eyes I feel the hate I resent every word I've said sleeping until I can just wake up Just wake up Just wake up Just wake up

Could it be me or a dark and twisted fantasy running free Giving too much time and patience to this disease We call love no it's not from above there's no white feathered dove can't you see There's no love left for you or for me I'm lost inside my head I feel the sudden dread Coursing through my blood like the endless flood Killing off the sense that kept me on the fence To push me off the edge And now I run away from my pain All the fear inside me boiling up to burn my throat and mind Time after time I can't control the envy keeping my heart locked away I wish you would stay away from the mess of a life that I call my existence Looking in the mirror I can't see a thing I'm running off drugs and shattered dreams Not what I seem everything I know about you begs me to scream And the way we disconnect is proof we don't need to be here Making fools of our lives being told by fear what to do how to live It's not the way I pictured myself learning to give I'm lost inside my head I feel the sudden dread Coursing through my blood like the endless flood Killing off the sense that kept me on the fence To push me off the edge And now I fight my way from my shame Everything inside me conjuring a state of doubt without a way to get out The prison that I've built myself it keeps my thoughts so safe without the hate I think that I see in the whole of existence Looking in the mirror I see my soul scream from my eyes See the light inside before my darkness breaks your sun Breathe the clean air today so I can use your lungs I wanna feel your spirit break out of the chains constructed from The fear of losing love The fear of losing I ripped the wings off of a butterfly by the seams Or it seems it was a moth covered in dirt She chewed the threads of my T-shirt Like there weren't already enough holes in my consciousness But I'm the kind of guy who can build a bridge Burn it down laugh manically and walk away with dust on my heels It was nothing a hot shower couldn't clean off But you were a gift and I smashed it up Because I'm a daredevil who can't sit comfortably (Matthew Leary) Can't take back all my sins Don't think I would even if I could Got off my knee no repent can't rethink my diseases This a repeat been going crazy, people think I'm lazy but I don't wanna worry 'bout it she wanna hear a good story I told her take a knee maybe take two now Baby stick your tongue out woo Everybody know we been wild since the 8th grade Grinding all our lives I'm glad she's gone I hope she hears me on the Radio I think I miss the freak more than her love See the light inside before my darkness breaks your sun Breathe the clean air today so I can use your lungs I wanna feel your spirit break out of the chains constructed from The fear of losing love The fear of losing

Don't you fake it with me. Take what I am as I am. Burn down your walls I've helped you build so high. Tell me everything I need to know, not just want you want me to hear. I helped mold a person who doesn't trust because I didn't trust myself. And now that you're here you can't look me in the eye. You won't speak, in response or question. You speak only to defend from my non-existent attacks. Assume the worst and it will be the worst. I finally finished packing my bags to find you stepping off the return ship, and although you called me to come aboard the whole journey, it was over before I was ready to start. It was over before I was ready to start.

Stone cold eyes pierce my chest I won't move until the rest The feelings shared the love we sought Washed away with the storm you brought And now I fear far too much Too let you know where you touch Inside my soul I cannot find A reason to not leave this behind And now I'm taking more them what's been told is mine I don't even care just stay and pass the time I want to say I can't let go but nothing makes me feel ok You tell me it's not yes and no, but in-between there's just no space And now I feel the weight of living on my own Even though you're here I feel so alone Stuck in the shell I call my skin this spirit yearns for another place I fight and spread myself too thin, I'm starting to give into my self-hate And now I can't breathe the way I used to fill my lungs I feel complete when you're not here to squeeze my neck I just go over the times I wish I could rewind To the moments I said what I didn't mean and just not go so fast You make me feel so numb I can't forget our past Speak and say whatever you think will help me stay I know it's hard to see things my way but I guarantee that someday You and I will be free to roam the stars As minds without fear of open scars And only see who we truly are I love with the fullness of our hearts Until they never beat They never beat

This cold winter knows the deepest part of me It's grip has always shown through bare and empty sheets Your sun it trickled in, and when it comes to show The feelings of remorse stay locked in my soul And when the light escapes your bones and your eyes just won't let go I can feel my frozen heart begin to burn That's when I empty from my chest this feeling of duress That has kept me from your warm for far too long There's nothing more of the words we never said You took my hand but you left me for dead We saw it coming but we didn't have to try I can't hide the truth when I'm out of lies Separate the days we were stuck in haze From the life I wanted just to be enough but There's something more when you look into me I feel my heart telling me just to speak Take all of the pain deep inside my chest Make it disappear make a place to rest All the fears you know will soon come and pass I will block the dark stained in our glass And when the light escapes your bones and your eyes just won't let go I can feel my frozen heart begin to burn That's when I empty from my chest this feeling of duress That has kept me from your warm for far too long There's nothing more of the words we never said You took my hand but you left me for dead We saw it coming but we didn't have to try I can't hide the truth when I'm out of lies Separate the days we were stuck in haze From the life I wanted just to be enough but There's something more when you look into me I feel my heart telling me just to speak Just let me speak Cut out my tongue and let me go There's nothing here that can save our souls We crucified our love to the sky Left me shaking Body is waking Lift my head and tell me it's fine I am broken just give me time To disconnect these feelings from thoughts I'm pushing them out and there's no way to stop

I've been growing old too fast for the peace of mind I seek There's nothing on this earth that can satisfy my thirst The difference between our spirits is a little small but not week Strong enough to show me that we're stuck with this curse That keeps us chained back afraid to be real Fighting to just look back and show how you feel Scratch my skin and taste the swelling blood Feel the warm dribble down to a flood It's the only way I'll ever be close to you Stretch me out and make me lose my mind Find a way to stop the passing of time It's the only way I'll ever be close to you You keep me there inside your heart with hope that cushions words I speak Against the thought of you never losing my love But my heartbeat drives me away Helps me clear out thoughts I can't say Scratch my skin and taste the swelling blood Feel the warm dribble down to a flood It's the only way I'll ever be close to you Stretch me out and make me lose my mind Find a way to stop the passing of time It's the only way I'll ever be close to you (Michael) Things I'm afraid of. The dark lipped kiss of some starry morning sky peeking into my chest looking for that piece of vulnerability I've been braking off to share with everyone I meet. The sounds of rushing water penetrating sand castles made out of dried pieces of flesh I've been peeling off my body ever since I discovered the word bravery. A warm trembling embrace that's unsure of how to hold my insecurities and a nestled head that's aware of the bent indent in my shoulder created between my neck was a sigh of relief because that is exactly what I wanted. A quick shooting star damp with chlorine flickering aimlessly through our pre-edited stories about love and what it means to be in it. I'm afraid of losing hope in myself just long enough for you to realize that I might be a mess your practiced hands won't be able to clean up. A slender shadow patrolling the shores of my battlefield asking if we could learn the dance of our tiptoed ballet. I just want to trace your goosebumps with every word I know until your skin is nothing but sheet music only I can read. Music has been escaping my fingertips like beads of sweat. I am malnourished and I'm afraid that loving myself isn't going to quench my thirst enough to keep sweating. I'm sweating your name under my breath like a dusty road found hiding in the crack of some old photographs we might one day look through. Caught in between this kingdom and some cell phone poetry I am afraid that I am far too in over my head. But I want to scream the word love out loud until nobody can hear me drowning in my own silence. I am afraid that this might be the best decision for me right now balancing my own body on top of myself until I cannot breath without reassurance from my pulse. It's been drumming so loudly when I think of you here inside of my bones. I have been breaking them on purpose just so I can get a glimpse of your magic. The silent air between us radiating dust that has been trailing our back roads like bumpy tires learning how to manage the grip of dawn drawing our blood so it can paint the sky before the world wakes up.